Why be yourself?

on .

maskedThis is a funny question asked by a coach.
Coaching is the best way, today, to bring your real self on the surface, by removing all the additional personalities you had to adopt all these years.
Especially for a highly sensitive person, the non acceptance of your uniqueness made you play roles and keeping some of them as your real personalities. In this case you need more than anyone else to discover your real self and bring him up.

But often this is not enough.

There is a possibility that your real self hasn't seen the light of the sun for many years, most probably since your childhood. So if you bring him up most probably will be shocked because there are not many genuine selves available in this world.
So playing roles and adopt other personalities had some meaning. It was a very good disguise in a costume party!

So what is out there?

Let's assume that you made all the effort and you revealed your real personality. And when you expect to see a wonderful free world, this is the only thing you don't find.
scared turtle in shellYou meet people who stand hesitating between thought and decisions. People who although they have the power to change the world with one word if they turn it into action, just stop and hide in their shells leaving their promises hanging there.
You meet people with strong and powerful personalities who, when things get tough, run fast back to their usual addictions, especially the one of the victim and they gather around them, again, people forcing them to have a certain behaviors or emotions.
You also meet the ultimate paranoia. People with antisocial behavior who rule, command and by having around them satellites without personality or own will they abuse and damage.
The last one I saw recently in a school yard, where the sociopathy is not hiding behind suits and ties.

So the result is that, when you have no armor any more and you are pure, vulnerable and in your natural state, people you have met are completely wrong for being around you. They cannot support you and in all your moments you need support they will just leave you alone.

So why be yourself?

The reason is that being yourself is for you and not for the others. You cannot ignore them but they are not your guides and your role models. At least not the ones you met while wearing your mask. Because all these years, with your mask, you gathered wrong people, people who loved the mask and not you. Well, they thought that the mask was you, exactly as you thought that their mask was them.

Does it worth then being yourself if it's so difficult and so full of problems?

It depends on you.

I'm sure that you often hear people advertising "self improvement", the wonderful life and the incredible advantages you will have after you get rid of your fake personalities. And this is true but the advertisement does not include the work and the "sacrifices" you have to make.
The work is much and serious. The sacrifices are fake but this you will know only after you do them. Because when you really make the effort, you will see that what you sacrificed was not real and/or was not yours.

To get rid all of these you have to be prepared for a brand new life.
A real life!
Often in this real life there are moments that look lonely and if you are not ready to have next to you your one and only 100% real friend, yourself, then you may suffer.

On the other hand, to stay in your old conventional life, where you accept mediocrity, especially yours, in order to fit in, where you have to minimize your value just to make it fit in a small box that many call life, well... I don't know if it's worth it.

When you decide to go for freedom, people around you, the real people, your real friends, can be co-pilots only for small parts of your way. They will show you your real image as mirrors, not masked or made up, including all the little or big flaws that you have to accept and correct.

Flattery and judgment don't fit there.

The decision is yours and only yours

Love

Antonis