People in love can become very good friends.
If you love them back, or they love you back there is no problem, things are simple, may become more complicated later but this is not the subject of this article.
The "problem" many people face is when someone falls in love with them, or they fall in love without response.
To my opinion and my experience there is absolutely no problem with this. Falling in love is the most natural thing in the world and happens all the time all over the world.
The way I see it, if someone falls in love with you this can raise your self-esteem, make you feel good just thinking that there is at least someone in the world who would love to be near you.
So unless there is a problem, a crazy or neurotic person who scares you, you can easily encourage them to feel what they feel and enjoy it, even if it's not something that interest you, a romantic or sexual relationship.
People in love can become very good friends. Unless, again, there is a psychological problem, someone who loves you can turn this lust to an unconditional love and this can be a benefit to both of you. It's the best growing method, to learn how to turn the "I want" to "I love and I offer".
Because, let's face it, not many people know how to really love.
If you observe yourself in relationships or your lovers in the past, you will see that there is much ego and a lot of demands after the first moments of bliss are gone when a romantic relationship starts. And this is not romantic at all.
After the first perfect moments, where everything is ideal, dysfunctions start appearing and the beautiful love affair becomes an everyday problem, often making you feel like going back to solitude.
And this is exactly the meaning of a long term relationship, it's not about owning each-other for life, not about sentencing the other to prison, your prison, but exactly the opposite. To slowly both feel free by living together, a step by step growing process where the ego is getting smaller and the care for each-other is getting bigger.
The difference with the friendship with someone who is in love with you or someone you are in love with, is that you can grow faster from "wanting" to "loving". If you accept a connection, then you have to accept the limits on this relationship. That no one of you has the right to ask for sexual connection, that a kiss or a hug, although it's raising emotions and sensations, these have to stay where they are and not find their way out. And the greatest challenge is to deal with these emotions, both of you, as something natural, something that is there and also something that gives you joy. To both of you.
And believe me, it's not only possible, it's also beautiful.
And this is my answer to the very common question, if there can be a friendship between people of different sex, yes it can, if these people decide to be conscious and make the best out of it. And it includes much bigger things than small talk and chit chat.
Of course if you have to deal with a person that has no consciousness to respect your decision and starts getting annoying or even dangerous then you have a real problem. If this happens to a reader of this article then most probably you have wrong people around you. While you are a seeker of truth and wisdom, you have around you unconscious and dangerous people and you allow them to abuse you.
In that case you have to wonder why do you have around you people who don't fit to you and what is the hidden benefit from this and finding this hidden benefit can help you find out what hidden childhood programs and patterns are running in the back of your mind.
But we will discuss this in another article.
So my conclusion is: love and let be loved. Don't suppress your emotions and your needs just because tradition says that it's not right. Make your Platonic lover feel good and enjoy their emotions.
And if there is no space to share your feelings, keep them for yourself, without shame and fear, feel in love, feel alive.
Love
Antonis
